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Welcome My name is Tess. I'm a 9-5 New Yorker and traveler. My hobbies include destroying suitcases, photo-bombing tourists in Times Square, and taking long romantic ADHD walks around the globe. Welcome!

Oct 28, 2011

That Old Broad is a Lady

Hey New York!

Lady Liberty as a bleached blonde and too much MAC lip gloss?
Did you know that the the oldest broad in NY just turned 125yrs old. The only woman I know that can have hundreds of folks under her skirt daily, and still be considered a lady? (bad attempt @ a dirty joke - sorry to those of you who don't speak American urban street humor further apologies to those of you who see me as misrepresentation of American humor  )  Just look at the pics!

Lady liberty with corn rows and green eyes?

Lady Liberty's back-up dancers and

Small dog that is just as confused
as I am!

Oct 25, 2011


 All I need is an air-matress and place to plug in my flat iron! 
Phot credit: James Fassinger

Tempatures are dropping but DO NOT be surprised when you see insulated tents equipped with heaters pop up in Zucotti Park.

Blankets will be replaced with air-mattresses and insulated sleeping bags. T-shirts will be layered with thermal undies & expensive North Face jackets -but no one will have spent a single dime! 

Acclaimed talk radio station WBAI has decided to give the 99% their own block of air-time beginning on October 26th from 6-7:30 Monday through Friday. Thus giving OWS the media coverage that they are long overdue. 

If you think that the idea of buckling down under a plastic tarp on the cement next to half a dozen other folks in the cold, will deter folks from continuing on with their united front?  Think again mudda-suckas!
According to reports the Zucotti Park clan has a $300,000.00  dowry, a storage space spilling with donated goods, a make-shift soup kitchen and a string of anonymous supporters.

Media mogul Russel Simmons offered to use his own money to clean Zucotti park when the city proposed a clean-up effort that would have forced the protesters out as well as ban them from returning with their gear.

Phot Credit: Diggs NY
So what looks like crazy hippies, hobos & lazy college grads langishing off  their unemployment could actually be the makings of a carefully calculated strategic plan to endure the cold weather. 

What you may be witnessing is the best of the brightest at the helm of what is morphing into well run business - And that looks damn good on a resume.   

Perhaps Mayor Bloomberg and his girlfriend (A director of Brookfield Properties which owns Zucotti park) believed that the cold weather would dismantle the OWS united front?? Mwah haa haa haa (evil throaty-laugh) Fools!

When an NGO pops up dedicated to the Occupy Wall Street  efforts - somebody email me so that I can post a huge  "I TOLD YOU SO" on my next entry... and then get my ass down there for a job!

Oct 11, 2011

Aww Sh*t I Am The 99%

Did someone say available jobs? Run!!!

I ain't trying to be unemployed BUT....
just because I have a "job" now doesn't mean that I won't be standing on the unemployment line in 6 months! Who knows- with the way companies like mine for example have been laying off & outsourcing . And I'm not moving to India to get my job back.

Can you guess who she
is supposed to be?
...when you find out
can someone please tell me

So me and Trish used our lunch break to join the 99% at 59th and 5th ave for the Occupy Wall Street (OWS) demonstration. At first glance there were more cameramen and news reporters than protesters elbowing their way through the crowd. But when the protest  finally got moving it was all about OWS. We marched alongside The Rude Mechanical Orchestra jamming down 5th ave headed towards Rupert Murdoch's penthouse and dodging the NYPD - who looked hungry for some protester blood. We marched to 66th st. then jetted back to the office.

I know I've talked trash about OWS in my last post - I admit it! But I'm broke dammit and I'm just getting "broker!" I don't know about you, but I live paycheck to paycheck like A LOT of folks in America. So whether you believe in the Occupy Wall Street Movement or not, just know that they are out there harassing millionaires at their homes for you broke America! That's right suckers you are the 99%. Yes I may end up on Telemundo, ABC, NBC or BBC - but if anyone asks; I was at my desk the entire time!

"This is the end result of these bankers overplaying their hand. They were already filthy rich. ..filthy rich wasn't rich enough! ...these are professional kleptomaniacs!" 

  - Michael Moore 

More cardboard! More Revolution!

Pimping herself out for honest work. This is what college graduates have been reduced to

You and me both chica!
Yes we are!

Oct 10, 2011

Dance Dillusions of Grandeur

Image courtesy of the internet that allows me to unethically snatch photos.

Okay. So what I'm not a professional dancer. But every Tuesday I pretend be one @  Alvin Ailey dance studios on W 55th st in NYC.
The world renowned dance company opens their doors daily to washed up wanna-bees, and dancers alike! And for the low low price of $17 you can drop in and take a two hour class in all things from ballet and belly dancing, to hip hop.  But beware the place is littered with snooty "company" dancers and pre-madonnas with penises floating around the premises. But it all adds to the ambiance of being at a world renowned dance company.
I like Quenia Ribiero's Samba classes. She is a perky 5ft 2in powerhouse from Bahia who shows you how to "bust-a-mutha-f*ckin-move" Brazilian style.  And for you beginners with no self confidence, no worries - she will gently walk you through gyrating your hips without embarrassing you ( Unlike a certain afro-cuban instructor who's name shall not be named..  La Mora

And to all you grungy backpackers - sign your filthy ass up and join in! They have showers that I guarantee are cleaner than the ones @ your hostel. No gym clothes? No problem! If you don't mind dancing in your jeans, then we don't mind watching you dance in them!

I love this place. And because my self-diagnosed ADHD will not allow me to do controlled exercise at the gym alongside juiced out meatheads like normal people, this my freinds is the perfect alternative.

And to boot, the student showcases held in Manhattan's theater district make you feel like you have a second chance at a career that you'll never..ever, ever have. And that sh*t is chicken soup for the soul.

                                          Quenia Ribeiro's Alvin Ailey student showcase

Oct 3, 2011

What Revolution?

After watching countless video streams and news reports I still cannot figure out in clear terms what kind of "change" the Wall street protesters are trying to bring about -  nor can the New York Times  

Many of the occupiers sound completely belligerent about why the hell they are even there! In the video protesters mention, "winds of change" "collective screaming voice" "bringing about a total revolution" blah blah blah.
What revolution? People are camping out on air mattresses, painting signs and singing Kumbaya. Occupiers have even built their own website.  With all this technical know-how does anyone no how to put together a clear statement of intention? What's your objective?

For example, in Yemen women brought their small children into the streets to protest the killing of a 10 month old toddler. And when  6 & 7 year old children were interviewed, these children articulated clearly and without hesitation what they wanted to accomplish - to prosecute the people responsible for this infants death..Ok got it!

Actually has anyone talked to the people who do have a fundamental reason for being there?
For example are the business owners in that area losing money? Do commuters need and additional 20 minutes to get to work?
And where the heck are these protestors using the bathroom? Is there anyone, ANYONE out there - perhaps a wall street protester or a Yemeni child that can translate in plain English why I should throw my support behind Wall Street occupiers?