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Welcome My name is Tess. I'm a 9-5 New Yorker and traveler. My hobbies include destroying suitcases, photo-bombing tourists in Times Square, and taking long romantic ADHD walks around the globe. Welcome!

May 12, 2014

Drunktown is the face of Native America?

Before the "dripping in jewels" era  

As a perk of my indentured servitude employer , I’ll be going to see a few private screenings of the Sundance & Tribeca films for $Free.99, this year.  Among them is a film called Drunktown’s Finest.

When I read the bio for this film  I immediately went to the trailer so that I could gawk at the actors.  I wanted to know if these were the faces of real Native Americans Indians. 

Let me preface my next, and possibly biased comment by saying,  I’m pretty good with matching faces to certain countries. For example, countries in East Africa; I can tell Somalis, Ethiopians & a Kenyans when I see them.)  I can basically identify  Ecuadorians from Salvadorians & Mexicans from Colombians (because they've flooded the neighboring town - and thank God because it’s the only reason I can get decent produce indigenous to the Caribbean)

Brazil is home to over 60 tribes of  indigenous hunter gatherers 

However, I honestly couldn’t spot a Native American if I was standing on the reservation and my life depended on it.  For a long time, I thought  Lou Diamond Philips was the only Native American actor who made it out of the reservation hood and into stardom. And as far as I know, all the Quileutes in the Twilight series were pretty convincing. 

 Aside from existing images of traditional & noteworthy Native Americans,  I often think of modern day Native American features as a hybrid between Filipino and Ecuadorians. Or like the tribal people deep in Brazil. Or Samoans?  How many of you really even know what a Modern day Native American looks like?
Not every actor, but several of the wolf pack actors are in fact Native

So because you cannot be worldly without knowing a little about the people who originally inhabited the continent that they were slayed on, before the next wave enslaved people were brought in to develop it, I did my homework (read: Googled).  and here’s what I found.

P.S. There are 36 speaking roles in Drunktown's Finest and of those roles, 32 are Native American Indians.

·         In 1990 George H. W. Bush declare the month of November as Native American Heritage Month

·         The reason that so many Black Americans claim Native American Heritage, is because it’s true. Although not everybody actually is “a quarter Indian” there was a point in American history (slavery) where the ethnicities joined forces.

·          Lou Diamond Philips is not Native American

·         Julia Jones and Alex Meraz from the “wolf pack” in Twilight are Native American (and sexy as hell)

·         Sacajawea is the Native American face that you see on the U.S dollar coin

·         Actor Will Rogers was born to a well respected Native American Territory family in Oklahoma

P.S.  This is still a travel blog. …I think

May 6, 2014


Keep "seat-mate" chatter to a minimum. Because nobody wants to hear your
damn conversation but you!

 Let's face it, anything more than a six hour flight can be agonizing, especially if  you're wedged away in airplane Gitmo economy class.  For those of you who dread long flights, there are a few survival tips that you can take ...or leave.

Stewardess! Anymore of that brand X vodka!?
Make use of the free booze - Cocktails, beer, pick your poison and indulge.  Most people spring for the wine. I go straight for the hard stuff. Vodka and coke.  Because alcohol plus altitude equals sweet drunken slumber. Of course you could end up dehydrated & awake looking like a wild animal. Therefore red wine and Tylenol might be easier and a little classier. Just wake me up at dinner service.

Business class can kiss my ass!

 Self medicate - When booze doesn't equal snooze,  have something else on hand just in case. If you've got some left over oxycodone from that time you had your tooth pulled, then go ahead knock yourself out -literally. Otherwise, spring for some over the counter sedatives because sometimes ear buds don't drown out the screaming kid kicking the seat back. But drug induced sleep suits most everyone.
If he farts, will that bag inflate? And who's going untie
his Ziploc bag when it's time to visit the loo?

The right attire to retire - Don't own a hooded sweatshirt or an eye mask? Well you can still cocoon up in airline blankets.  Additionally they cover up trouble spots for example a drooling mouth, a swollen gut and the general drunk-off-plane- booze ugly face)  Because using a storage bag doesn't conceal these things. So hoard a couple of blankets and get your cocoon on.

Is that your feet or did you order the vegetarian meal

Free your feet with caution - I once sat next to a 10, but when he took his shoes off I wanted to throw-up.  I know you want your dogs to breath but no one wants to see or smell your hammer toes. If you take your shoes off and people start to clear their throats, assume the worst. Bring fresh socks that you can change into because planes are air-conditioned and your little funk buckets will freeze.   

A neck pillow can keep your head stable and your slobbering contained to your chin

Protect yo' neck - Invest in a neck pillow it will offer your head some "roll over" real estate, and if you're in an aisle seat, it can potentially  keep you from head bobbing into the aisle and being slapped in the back of the head by a passing penis.  I'm jus' saying.... 

I'm just waiting for your head to swing into the aisle.
Getting the window seat in an exit row is like winning the lottery in economy class. And regular window seats are a sweet snatch. With that said, if you have a seat preference, go online the day of the flight to see if you can change your seat assignment. If all else fails grab a aisle seat. You'll have a easier time unwinding and there might be an extra seat to stretch out on.

Now sit back relax and enjoy the ride!!