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Welcome My name is Tess. I'm a 9-5 New Yorker and traveler. My hobbies include destroying suitcases, photo-bombing tourists in Times Square, and taking long romantic ADHD walks around the globe. Welcome!

Feb 25, 2013

How to Do Manhattan's Times Square on $35

It has occurred to me that people come to NYC "ballin" on a budget. Don't be ashamed I do it all the time!
And still I manage to have an amazing time. So in honor of all you thrifty travelers, dirty backpackers, and gap year broke college kids, here's a quick "How To"  on doing Manhattan Times Square for about $35 bucks!


Head to Barcelona, a $5 shot bar on 8th and 54 and ask for the knight rider. They will pump the 1980s' theme song while you gulp down your shot. They have over 100 shots to chose from inclding ones where they set the bar on fire - literally.
If you drink 100 shots within one year, you get to create a shot and name it. It's kind of like build-a-bear but with alcohol! don't worry if you're too drunk too remember your name, they keep a running list with your name and your dereliction

$5 each

Pet the pretty horsey of the hottest policemen men in NYC - the mounted squad.  They love taking pics so don't be scurrred! And they are some of the biggest flirts (not the horses)  So ask for a business card and tell them you may need some "saving" later. 


Ditch the corny character drawing and instead, get some face claymation to take home. Who tha fugg wants to carry around a poster of themselves with a warped head? Instead have this guy etch  I Love New York into your face and date stamp it! Throw that ish in your pocket and keep it moving!

No seriously these leg warmers deserve a whole half hour of questions.

Yup those are fox faces on his knees

Casual convo with a real NYer - Ask this guy who makes his leg warmers - he's got about a dozen and matching coats. And he will model them for you, plus give the story on how they came to be! Two words thrift+store.


Character Assault - Run up and randomly punch papa smurf in the nose or solicit Hello Kitty for her kitty - cuz you know it's hard out here for a cartoon pimp.
$1 each

Ditch the dogs - authentic  NYC street meat is a halal truck - gyro and shish kababs get the job done and don't give you diarrhea.

Street meet - head over to the Red Stairs and meet other tourists. Take pics and get authentically elbowed by New York commuters. Because yes, you are always in the fugging way!

So you think you can ride?  well then, grab a bike @  bike rental central park and opt out of riding through Central Park. Instead, hit the streets and see how long it takes before you hit someone or someone hits you.
$12 for 1 hour

Brokeback Sing-a-long - Request a song from this guy then sing along. He won't ask you for money. He just really needs the practice - Pay this guy.

Don't pay this guy!

Support Medical Research - Some people want to travel and see the world, while others are just trying to make it through the damn day. Not an advocate for medical marijuana? No prob there's a guy 3 blocks down that needs money for beer. Cheers!

There you have it kids - the $35 midtown round up. This is your trip and it is what you make of it. You didn't come here to eat McDonald's and get ripped off at the wack wax museum. You came here to do New York -right. Whatever you want to see, smell, or touch is within your reach for less than you think.  Just ask the right people. And if you are not sure who those people are, well then, you've come to the right place.

Is there anything you always dreamed of doing when you come to New York?