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Welcome My name is Tess. I'm a 9-5 New Yorker and traveler. My hobbies include destroying suitcases, photo-bombing tourists in Times Square, and taking long romantic ADHD walks around the globe. Welcome!

Nov 5, 2014

Best Worldwide Halloween Event is in New York (Warning: post full of pics)

So there I was, headed downtown  on a tightly packed 1 train, full of  people in Halloween costumes, when I overheard two pissed-off, plain dressed  Brits saying that they didn't know how "big a fucking deal" Halloween was to Americans.

The pic that inspired many tasteless jokes, all of which would land me in hell.

Really? We been doing this shit for 41 years.  The Village Halloween Parade In New York is the largest celebration of its kind, worldwide. What began as a typical neighborhood trick-or-treat walk for mask maker & puppeteer, Ralph Lee and his kids in 1974,  gradually became Festivals  International's  “Best Event in the World” for October 31.

I feel like she was probably his second choice for the side-kick costume

Two hours earlier,  I was having a drink with a centaur and the Australian wolf man beside us, could barely contain his excitement about the annual Halloween festival that was kicking of at 7 pm sharp.

After taking over the DJ's table to sing Prince "Let's go crazy" and watching the entire place oblige at GROOVE NYC. I made my way to the potty and chatted with a red hot Trinidadian devil.  She had just bagged Wolverine who was waiting patiently with her whip in his hand upstairs.

I prayed for her blasphemous sacrilegious choice for a costume

After getting a blessing from the Pope we made our way through the festivities. I was run over by fast food while watching  an alley cat take a shit ...or the shit was taking her. A nun told me to mind my fucking business and I graciously turned down a peanut butter & crack rock sandwich from Tyrone Biggums.

Halloween was never just for kids. That's just when most of us were introduced to it. And actually it's not until you hit 21 that you can begin to properly enjoy this holiday. The costumes,the crowds, the local bars and lounges are outfitted to the nines.  By the time you reach 28yrs old  it's damn near an Olympic sport.  It's some of the most  intoxicating fun you will ever have and best excuse to dress up.

That is a "shit"

 There is no shortage of imagination, cross-dressing and nakedness in this parade. A quarter of a million costumes running around several dozen blocked off streets and you have one of the most exhilarating atmosphere's in the world -for one night only.  Please don't shit on our holiday. Because we certainly don't shit on yours.

Every time my waitress brought anything to our table she scared the bejeezus out of me