About Me

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Welcome My name is Tess. I'm a 9-5 New Yorker and traveler. My hobbies include destroying suitcases, photo-bombing tourists in Times Square, and taking long romantic ADHD walks around the globe. Welcome!

Feb 29, 2012

The Price You Pay For Travel

Traveling abroad can be a real eye opener.

New York there's been some negative chatter in the blogosphere about the value of traveling abroad.
Frankly I suspect it's coming  from people who believe that the Caribbean is as good as "Abroad" gets. 
Nothing wrong with that, but the saying goes...you seen one island blah blah blah.

Let's face it you can't convince someone of the beneifts of travel if seeing the world is not their priority.
It takes a special person to "keep it classy" whilst peeing in a hole in the ground in a third world country. (yea I've got pics)
Some people are satisfied with living vicariously through the travels of others. But real talk, many of us don't have travel buddies which tends to hold many folks back from living out their travel wet dreams. But that too can be resolved with a little foresight. May I make some brief  but vague suggestions?
Travel buddies maximize your travel experience

  • Find a website for travel groups - There's dozens of them out there.  If you think you're the only friendless person on the planet you're wrong. loneliness is the new black! Might I suggest http://www.blackgirltravel.com/ The host gets that you can't wait for your friends to be ready.
  • Go on a volunteer vacation with a group of tree huggers. If you don't mind the rancid smell of patchouli oil (a tree hugger scent dejour) bring plenty of granola & you'll be smoking weed  have friends before the day is done! 
  • Join Grandmama's church - old folks ain't got nothing but time (& a pension payout) so the energy of a young whooper-snapper is always welcomed on the church trips ... plus seniors carry liquor (who knew!).  

So stop your whining, spin the globe and pick a spot. It worked for the Prince of Zamunda so what's stopping you? You just might find that special someone. Don't knock it till you've tried it -  happened to me twice already  
We're still in the first quarter of the new year and most of you have a plethora of vacation days left.
Make that ish count! Who the hell wants to spend a week's vacation vegged out on the sofa drinking Jack & coke @ 10 in the morning watching Netflix? 

I may sound judgemental but don't act stank with me when I tell you that I've just come back from mining blood diamonds in Sierra Leone (Naomi ain't got sh*t on me) and you're pissed because you spent all your greenbacks on a Louis Vuitton bag that nobody believes is real anyway.  Prioritize, Plan and Save"  and buy that fake Louis in Rome, Italy or from an African in Times Square NYC (for those of you reading in other countries)!

Happy Trails!

Feb 2, 2012

Who's Got the Look

Many native New Yorkers are shocked to find out that I am not a Native New Yorker. They are even slightly repulsed, coiling back in disgust, to find out that I'm a "Suburban girl" - born & raised.

With that said I'm curious to know what people think your typical New Yorker looks like.
 If  New Yorkers can be so easily fooled  (however I am an excellent decoy)  Can we actually demystify all notions and concepts of "Who's got the look."
 Tourist are easy to spot. No matter how trendy or trashy they are from the neck down, the "Deer-caught-in-the-headlights" look is a dead giveaway, that you ain't from these parts.  But to the untrained eye, who is the Native New Yoker?

Micky Minaj
Not only is she a New Yorker but she's an NYU student, and a  painter and a rapper and  and entrepenuer and.... oh good lord 

What happens when Cornbeef & Curry goat make a baby?
Easy - you get a Jamaican in a kilt, claiming  Irish descent (least that's what he told me)...But those ashy knees? That's a cross cultural no no!
Only in NY

"I wish a sinner would test my holiness!"
Only thugged out  New York nuns would walk around Sodom and Gomorrah (aka the West Village) like it's nothing sohn - like it's nothin!

You Betta Wurk Bish!
Men that wear the cheap women's clothes that they sell, better than the the cheap women that they sell them to?
That's a New Yorker baby!