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Welcome My name is Tess. I'm a 9-5 New Yorker and traveler. My hobbies include destroying suitcases, photo-bombing tourists in Times Square, and taking long romantic ADHD walks around the globe. Welcome!

Dec 17, 2013

Lesser Known Holidays That Deserve Pay.

If you are not a fan of holidays, then that's too bad because the next two months are wrought with some major ones like Christmas, New Year's, MLK, Chinese New Year's & Valentines. 
But did you know that there are a few lesser known and yet intriguing ones coming up as well? How do you I know this?  Because i was cruising the paid holiday calendar at work.  So for those of you who cannot legitimately observe religious holidays without being blasphemous or sacrilegious.  Here are a few that you can propose be added to the Paid Holiday schedule.

You can thank me later.........

owning a fleet of these buses almost guarantees instant wealth. 

Festival Of Sleep Day - January 3rd -   Who hasn't experienced the 48hr hangover, post New Year's. And after all the energy spent closing an entire 365 days, the third day of the new year is usually full of the walking dead still recovering from alcoholism, sleep deprivation or simply lying about being sick because they are still on vacation in bumbafuck. So why force them to use a sick day? They should really called this "Pick Up The Pieces" day. 

 Houseplant Appreciation day - 1/10 - The name alone explains why you can't possibly show up to work on this day. How can you appropriately show your undying affection, if you are not side-by-side to your beloved potted perfection of greenery? (medical marijuana aside)  After all, it offers you a immediate source of oxygen from the polluted life you live.  And not being there to say thank you? - well that's just selfish.....

Opposite Day - January 25th  - Well what's the opposite of being at work? Boom!! They say this holiday may date back to president Calvin Coolidge in the 1920s'. So if it good enough for a president then damnit who am I to oppose?

Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk Day - February 11th - "Today is the day to recognize that sh*t happens."  Well I couldn't have said it better myself!  Sh*t happens everyday and still I and millions of others manage to make it to our jobs - and on time.  So give us a little friggin' well deserved credit here and make this a paid holiday.   

Singles Awareness Day - February 15th - "You can celebrate and enjoy the fact that you are unattached, by spending time in online dating sites, swapping gifts and spending time with other single people", is how they say this holiday should be celebrated.

 And if that isn't depressing enough, they declare this shitty holiday just after Valentines day - on purpose. As far as I'm concerned this holiday would give the suicide hotline a marathon day of work.  And well, making those suicidal calls from work can bring down productivity so - stay home!    

Tell A Fairy Tale Day  February 26th - Most of us spend a good portion of the day doing this anyway. So instead of wasting all those colorful stories on people you will only lie to again tomorrow, take a day off today recoup some karma points.

So there you have it kids! And there are dozens more out there. So have a great New Year. I  would tell you that there will be another entry before 2014 but that would be a fairy tale. And that holiday is two months away. 

Be good and if you can't be good .....then dammit be good at it!



1 comment:

  1. Holidays are the Best Signs of Relaxation with Entertainment. Good Job.


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